Hiking & Hormonal-Pregnancy Update

I am 37 weeks along, completely dropped, having a ton of contractions but only dilated to a 1..

Bill and I have been trying everything to induce this baby. I am starting to realize she will come when she is ready to come.

We went on a little drive/hike this week up in the Colorado National Monument. It was gorgeous and the weather was just perfect.

Hiking=No Paisley

My sister in law suggested getting on all fours and rolling my hips in circles.

Tried that. Failed. My dog sure looked at me weird.

We have been going on walks (more like wobbles)

The Oompa Loompa workout is a negative.

We've of course tried the other thing.....

All I can say is that won't be happening again........


Even tried the blossoming rose vision. This sweet girl from my ward suggested that this worked for her. She said to get comfortable, preferably before bedtime and get into a very relaxed frame of mind. She said to start picturing in your mind a rose, slowly, blossoming.

The blooming rose didn't help.

My husband thought maybe if he walked around like he was pregnant (As shown above) that somehow it would help.

It only made me pee my pants.

So here I am, sitting on my fat bum, wanting her to come, but scared to death of her arrival. How can I be so torn? Why do I want to cry with no real apparent reason? Am I really ready for this?

Oh gosh, what am I doing????

HIGH SCHOOL TAG

Since all of my high school photos are boxed up, I thought I'd put this cute one up of my little brother....

He just graduated from high school and he loved his experience.... I on the other hand would never want to go back.....

School: Sky View High School, Smithfield Utah.

1. Did you date someone from your high school?

Nope. I was way too shy. Thinking back though I realize my bangs probably scared off most off the boys. Joel Draxler gave me a lot of attention.... other than him I'm sure the others were too afraid of the girl who had something die on her head.

2. What kind of car did you drive?

My first car was a very ugly brown Mercury Cougar. I wrecked it because of Jamie. She tried taking my soda from me. As I reached
over to take it back, the steering wheel went with me... ran into a barbed wire fence and a dirt field.

After the Cougar was an AWESOME Grand Prix...

3. What was your most embarrassing
moment in high school?

Peeing my pants in front of Ryan Thompson. I thought he was sooooo cute and he was the new boy in town. Years later it wouldn't have mattered.... the boy has come out of the closet. He's totally Gay. But that night on the volleyball court, with me crouched to the ground and my fingers in my ears.... brought on nothing but laughter and wet pants.

4. Were you a party animal?

Nope. Too shy for parties. My party animal days came AFTER serving a mission.

5. Were you considered a flirt?

How can you be considered a flirt when you were mute and your bangs did the talking?

6. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?

Nope. I had NO desire to get involved in anything.

7. Were you a nerd?

No, I wouldn't say a nerd. I would say I was middle-class. I had friends that were not so popular and I had friends that were popular.

8. Were you on any varsity teams?

No. I played softball my sophmore year and I did make the basketball team my junior year. I really didn't want to play, I just wanted to see if I could make the team. I was so shocked I made it! I decided after a few weeks I really would rather work and earn money than be tied up with something I didn't love doing.

It was so worth the time though.... I created some great memories with my father. He taught me how to do left handed lay ups and I remember playing basketball with him many nights..... his time and training gave me the opportunity to play well with the Elders on my mission.

9. Did you get suspended/expelled?

Haha... ya right. I joined in a walkout once and got in MAJOR trouble from the mama!

10. Can you still sing the fight song?

Nope. Not for Sky View. I spent more time hanging out with the West Side Football/Basketball players than I did with my own school.

11. Who were your favorite teachers?

Mrs. Workman. She was ALWAYS having a hangover.
Mr. Cottle. His math classes were so easy, it was very difficult to fail in his class and he was just so easy going.

12. Where did you sit during lunch?

I usually left for lunch or hung out in the student lounge.

13. School Mascot? My twin sister, Jamie McKnight

14. Did you go to homecoming and with who? I did, but I went to another school's homecoming. I went with Matt Barber to Granger High School's homecoming in Salt Lake. Matt looked like a short version of Patrick Swayze. I had a huge crush on his friend, Neil Carter, and I went with Matt so I could be around Neil. Neil was a Greek God.... so beautiful! Wow!!!

15. If you could go back and do it again, would you?

No way. I was so insecure and felt so ugly compared to all the other girls. My attitude toward school was negative, but this attitude gave me access to something much greater..... the only thing I would do again is not be so afraid of myself and what others thought of me.

16. What do you remember most about graduation?

Grateful that it was over and that I was ready to move out the very next day. I didn't go to a graduation party, I was busy packing things to move into my new apartment. I just wanted to be independent and ready to start an adventurous life!

17. Where did you go senior skip day?

What is senior skip day?

18. Have you gained weight since then?

Only because I am currently pregnant. I stayed the same weight up until I served my mission. I came home from the mission weighing less and lost even more weight in the past 3 years. Before this pregnancy I was at a very low weight...

19. Who was your prom date?

I had several. I can't remember their names, they were all from other schools. I never went to one dance with a guy from Sky View. Except for the time a group of us took a bunch of the special education boys/girls to a dance.... I took Reggie Ravsten, a Down Syndrome Boy from Clarkston.

20. Are you planning on going to your 10 year reunion?

LOL... That has come and gone and I don't plan on going to any reunions. I have remained in contact with those that I really care to keep in touch with.

21. Looking back, what advice would you give yourself?

Don't be so shy. Enjoy every moment and quit looking forward to the future so much, you miss out on the present. More important, don't compare yourself so much to all the other girls. No one is perfect.


Get ready to go back to old school tag: Janan De Silva, Chantel Bender, Heather Whitehead, Jamie Douglass, Jean McKendrick, Jesse Crofts, Melissa Hernandez, Julie Decoria

Dancing with the Starzz-- Two weeks away!!

So my project I've been working since March is only 2 weeks away!

November 8, 2008
Little America Hotel
Salt Lake City
6:00-8:00pm

I know I've mentioned this before on my blog, but I'd like to mention it again. MISS USA, Crystle Stewart is flying in from Florida to be one of the dancers.

There will be a dance off between 7 kids with disabilities and 7 celebrities. While you enjoy the show you get to receive a dinner, catered by Little America.

This is a huge event and we want to get as many people there as possible. Bill's cousin Cody will be one of the dancers and he is QUITE THE DANCER!! If any of you can afford it, please support our kids with disabilities as they show off their dancing techniques! Tickets are $50, but this gives you access to meet the celebrities as well as partake in a fabulous dinner and show!

If you would like to go you can register online at www.bestbuddiesutah.org/starzz

The event was promoted on FOX 13 yesterday morning. If you want to check out a cute down syndrome boy showing off his dance moves click on the following link:

http://www.myfoxutah.com/myfox/pages/InsideFox/Detail?contentId=7708797&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=5.2.1

f you scroll down to where it says “SideBar, Related Items, Videos”, it should be the first video on the list. ( In the middle of the page, underneath the big box with the Fox 13 Sign ).

Crib Sanding & Frisky Hands

So my wonderful sister in law gave us this beautiful crib. We were not too fond of the natural wood, but Bill INSISTED on saving some money and he would just sand and paint the crib.

Well, last month my mother in law came for a visit. Her and I sanded down the pieces and then we all went to Home Depot and picked out the paint.

I kept asking Bill if He really wanted to do the work and tried talking him out of it. Starting a new job and being required to travel I knew it would be difficult for him to find the time. Well, he continued on insisting refurnishing this crib himself.

Lo and behold... hahahahah, I knew he would regret those words. The pieces have been hanging in our garage for at least a month. He finally came home last week and has been dreading the task at hand. The ONLY reason he decided to finish the job was because it was "taking up his garage space".

So, Saturday night he gets to work. He decides he is a HORRIBLE painter and needs to re sand the pieces. He pulls up a chair for me and gets me all comfortable and cozy. It's a nice, cool October evening and he is singing me silly songs all throughout his work. He grumbles every now and then saying he was hoping that "I would have been able to do it myself". Like a good wife, I gently reminded him of his own words of "doing it himself and saving money". He then asked me to never allow him to say such stupid things again!

Next thing I know he stands up and quickly places his hands on my future baby feeding devices.....

At first I was mad, how could he dirty my nice black shirt? Grrrrrrrr..... and then the laughter came. With the laughter came contractions....

But still no Paisley....

I love my husband, I really can't ever stay mad at him. I try but He really knows how to soften my heart and put a smile on my face.

I am proud to say, in the two years we've been together, we have not had a single fight. Frisky Hands during something as simple as sanding down a crib brought nothing but laughter and a smile to both our faces!

35 1/2 Weeks And Still Contracting

It's been two weeks since I've been put on bed rest and I still have another 5 days to go.... so ready to get off this couch!

In all honesty though, I have somewhat enjoyed all this time to think and examine my life.

I'm scared, anxious, excited and worried. Worried that I'll be a good Mother. Worried about the mistakes I'm going to make and very scared of this crazy world and if she will make it through the evils that are so prevalent.

Bill is home to take care of me and I'm loving it. My mother and grandmother were here for a week, then my good friend Ciley was here for 5 days. I love them dearly for taking time out of their lives to be here with me and watch over me.

But I'm so grateful for Bill's return home. Now I no longer have to worry that he is going to miss the delivery. She could come any day now! The contractions are still coming....... I pray she will be healthy.

My New Miracle Blog

With nothing but time on my hands, my mind is put to work. I'm in a space that for most of the day only includes me and my mind. I'm just grateful I like myself enough now, to be alone with myself. I haven't always been able to say that. For awhile I was my worst enemy.

I never want to go another day being ungrateful. In the past, too many of my days were spent on looking at what I didn't have. As the world gets more uncontrollable and unsettling I want to be able to stay focused on the positive and what I do have.

So in the corner of my mind stirs an idea. At the end of each day I will pencil in at least one miracle I witnessed during the day.

It may be as silly as having a Dr. Pepper in my fridge to help cure a headache. It may be a simple act from an 80 yr old neighbor making sure I am winterizing my swamp cooler. It also may be a young mother of three dropping off a dinner so I don't have to cook.

There are daily miracles if we but choose to see them. His hands are open with blessings and I usually take for granted the little things. No longer will I be ungrateful. In a world that chooses not to believe, I will keep my eyes open and believe.

If you click on the link to the left- Ginger's Miracles- you will be able to read about at least one miracle I will look for each day.

I know many of you are extremely busy and may have a hard time keeping up with one blog. I thought it would be fun though if perhaps each of you started your own daily miracle blog, giving us more and more evidence of the good sent down from God. We live in a world where many no longer believe in miracles, merely coincidence. It would be very inspiring if I could read about the miracles that take place in your lives each day.

Do You Believe in Guardian Angels

As I awoke this morning, I lay in bed pondering upon the events that took place two years ago. These thoughts seem to consume me. It's not necessarily a bad thing I suppose. If anything these thoughts confirm to me more and more that God has had a constant hand in my life. But, as my mind reverts to the darkest time in my life I think to myself, "Why am I alive? How did I NOT end up pregnant and married to my enemy."

In a fraction of a second, one action, one choice can alter one's path. For better or for worse. So then, in those times when "choice" is taken from you and is forced upon you by another, is someone there to protect you?

With tears flowing down my flushed, pregnant cheeks I was overwhelmed with a feeling of protection. For the next thirty minutes thought after thought flowed into my mind of loved ones passed on who are there to guide and protect us.

My first thought was of Danny ( Bill's brother) and his father, Russ. Perhaps two years ago they looked down on me and stepped in and protected me from rape and potential loss of my life. Perhaps they knew their brother/son was waiting just around the corner. Perhaps they knew I would be bearing their niece and granddaughter within a few years. Perhaps my children knew I was in trouble and had a hand in my rescue as well.

I helped Danny here on earth. Danny helped me from heaven. Do our loved ones who have passed on watch over us? I believe they do. Especially after the overwhelming feelings I felt when I awoke this morning.

I called my husband and shared these thoughts with him. I don't believe these experiences should be kept private, but shared. It was such a unique moment as I shared and listened to his wonderful insight. By sharing this with Him, he openly shared how He thanks God for Me each day. I never would of heard those words out of his mouth today if I hadn't opened up to him.

So as the night comes to a close, I will go to bed thinking of other Guardian Angels that have helped me along this road we call life. God says we will never be asked to endure something we can not handle. I believe him. And, I believe in the help of angelic hands that are not seen, but are felt.

OCTOBER REFLECTION

October is a very humbling month for me. This time two years ago I was living in a nightmare. Over the course of 8 months, I found myself trapped into a frightening relationship that I could not escape from.

With this relationship came the loss of friendships, the loss of testimony and the loss of peace within my family and my soul.

Because my blog is not set to private, I'm not comfortable with giving any details. Sometime down the road I would like to be more open with what happened, but at this time I just want to talk about gratitude.

Two years ago I had nothing. Today I have everything. I have an AMAZING husband and a beautiful miracle that is ready to arrive any day. I have a very loving family who never gave up on me. I have inherited another great family through Bill and I couldn't ask for better friends.

Most important, my life is filled with Peace. If I were to die tomorrow, I could say I died with my dreams in my hands. Each moment is a miracle too me. My life was almost lost, but through the grace of the Savior it has been found. October 2006 I started my walk out of Hell and back toward the Savior's arms. I never want to leave them again.

Thank you God for rescuing me. Thank you for every little miracle you are helping me see. Thank you for loving me.

WHAT IS THIS COUNTRY TURNING INTO??

There are several videos on Youtube as this one..... these videos make me sick. I respect every person's political/religious views and this may not bother some people. But videos like this only prove that people in this country view Obama as a God and not as a leader.... I am literally terrified of Obama and what is going to happen to this country if He becomes our next President!

COMPARABLE TO HITLER'S YOUTH-- SCARY!!!

24 HOURS OF CONTRACTIONS

No silly, I didn't give birth to a dog yesterday. This is our psycho human like dog, Dax. This is how He relaxes, either while sleeping or being brushed. Usually He puts one paw over his eye too! I think He learned this relaxing pattern after his master, my husband. I was actually brushing him here, not pushing him out. I just had to post this random picture because it looks SOO ODD!

My husband and I just got home from the hospital. I have been having contractions, about 6 every 1/2 hr for the past 24 hrs. They pumped me full of meds to stop the contractions, but they didn't finally stop until 5am this morning.

My Mid Wife has put me on strict bed rest and medication for the next 2 1/2 weeks. At that point I will quit the meds and do whatever I please and wait for her to come~! I'm already going crazy just sitting around... ughhhh! But my Husband has already become my little servant :) He is babying me and taking such sweet care of me! Haha..... I love it!

I'm looking forward to my Mother coming over for the next week to help out and after she leaves, my mother in law will be here for a few days. It's going to be hard to accept the pampering, I'm such an independent that I'm already feeling guilty I'm putting them out by this. BUT..... I am grateful for them and I know it will be best for Paisley.

TO BE SEALED IN DECEMBER 2008

Has it almost been a year? Wow, I can't believe how fast this year has gone and what an AMAZING year it has been. Some say that your 1st year of marriage is the hardest and some say otherwise.....

I would have to agree with the otherwise. As we draw closer to December 8th, I will be thinking of all the many specific blessings that have flowed into our lives, but at this time ask a special favor of my friends and family.

This December, Bill and I have the opportunity to be sealed in the LDS Temple. We thought we were originally going to have that opportunity, but were denied a Temple Clearance 5 days before our scheduled Wedding Day. Bill was previously married and under circumstances that we do not understand we were told by our Stake President that it was felt "We needed more time". This explanation was never clarified and though it was very disappointing and frustrating, we chose to proceed with our marriage at the Old Rock Church in Providence, Utah.

We've been able to attend the Temple together over the past year and though it was a constant reminder of our denial of a sealing, we have been exercising our faith that it will be granted this year.

There is nothing more We want than to kneel across the altar with our brand new little baby girl and be sealed for all of Eternity. We do have to go through the same process as we did last year, to obtain the clearance, and so this is where the favor comes in.

Please pray for us. I know prayers are answered regardless of which religion one may believe in. Some of you may not believe in the LDS Teachings and that's okay. I know those who read my blog do care about us and want us to be happy, that's why I can call you my friends.

December 13, 2008 is the date that we are praying for. If any of you would like to be a part of our sealing, please know you are invited. We plan on doing this special ceremony in the Logan LDS Temple. We cannot schedule it until we have the approval from the First Presidency. As soon as we hear word I will post it, it is being worked on right now.

I love you all so much. Thank you all for your Love and Support.