Camping in Seward & Whale Watching Day Cruise

A week before I went on bed rest, we had the opportunity to spend a weekend in Seward with some friends, Annie and Tom and their little boy Daniel. We spent the weekend at Renfro's Lakeside Retreat and they had these little cabins next to a lake. It was beautiful and so peaceful. The first day we went to the Sea Life Center and walked around downtown Seward a little bit. Then we spent the rest of the day at our cabin.

On the 2nd day we were able to go on a 5 hour day cruise. It was beautiful but a little tough with Paisley and McKoy. Paisley couldn't sit still and wanted to run around the entire cruise ship. McKoy on the other hand cried practically the entire time, not just whined, but cried. He was so tired and just wanted to sleep and I got to sit down the whole time and deal with him. We did see a few humpback whales and lots of Sea Lions. We also ported at Fox Island for a all you can eat Salmon and Prime Rib lunch. It was a beautiful day and enjoyed it for the most part, despite cranky, crying kids

On the 3rd day Tom and Bill spent the day deep sea fishing for Halibut. Annie and I took the kids and tried hiking the trail to the Exit Glacier. The trail was stroller friendly up until the last part, so I had to turn around with my kids. I gave Paisley two sticks and tried to teach her how to continue hitting them together so she could keep the bears away. There was a sign posted at the beginning of the trail that stated if a Black bear came after you to fall down and play dead. If a brown bear came after you, you needed to play dead until he started eating you and then you were to try and fight back.

I was a bit paranoid.

It was a fun weekend and we so love being in Alaska. I have encouraged Bill to get out and enjoy the summer and so for the past few weekends he has either taken the kids camping and kayaking or he has gone fishing with Tom. We are stocking up on Salmon and I love seeing Bill enjoy his outdoor hobbies. He has worked so much over the past few years, he hasn't taken time out to enjoy life. He has become more social and loves to go enjoy all that Alaska offers with the kids or his friends.

I'm so happy to be here, we are so far from family and friends, but I love who Bill has become in Alaska. This is his paradise and he is in his element here. It makes me so happy to see the changes that have come over him and I am not the only one to have noticed this.

I will do better at posting more about my kids and Bill's summer and not just about my emotional roller coaster while lying in bed.

Angry and Resentful

Ya, that's how I feel today. Actually, that's how I've been feeling all week. But this morning I have woken up extremely angry and frustrated.

Last Sunday night I went in to the hospital. I had been having 2-3 contractions every hour for three days. Sunday morning I woke up having painful cramps and feeling very nausea's. I didn't really want to go in to the hospital, but finally caved and called Labor and Delivery Sunday evening. The nurse in triage felt I needed to come in right away.

So here goes the usual. Pee in a cup, put on the gown that opens in the back and shows off my nasty legs and butt, lay down and get monitored. Get the nice little swabby swab to test for infection as well as some other swabby swab I don't know anything about. Get wheeled to Ultrasound where the tech asks ME to stick the thingamajig up my yahoo and then oh, "he'll take over from there". What the ???? Don't I pay him to prod and poke my private area's??

So everything looks good. Great, that's what I really want to hear. I then get wheeled back to my room, back on the monitor. Oh, did I mention that my contractions were now coming every 5 minutes? What does the nurse open her mouth and say? "I wonder why the doctor even has you on bed rest". Hmmmm, JUST THE WORDS I NEEDED TO HEAR LADY!!!! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Oh and apparently she says that some women "just contract their entire pregnancy". Great, Dandy, thank you for your wonderful insight nursey nurse. Thanks for racking up over a thousand dollars in just two hours and sending me home with such valuable information.

I'm upset. Can you tell? All week I have been wondering what a waste of time. All the service, all the time and money and worry that I have caused everyone. I want to trust a Doctor who has been practicing for over 40 years over a nurse that seemed a little annoyed that I was even there. But, all week her words keep playing over and over in my mind "don't know why you're even on bed rest".

Blah. I'm a blubbery ball of a burden and I am tired of all the different opinions I am getting from the medical staff. Just tell me to trust my doctor and not listen to anyone else. Please? For my sanity, I need to know this all isn't a waste :(

Hands of Heaven

I am so emotional today. Its been four weeks now and in those four weeks I have had 70 acts of service extended to my family. These 70 acts do not include gifts in the mail, phone calls, visits, emails and txts. They do not include my Aunt Terri taking time out of her crazy life to come here and help with the situation. They do not include my wonderful husband going above and beyond to make sure I stay in bed and not clean, cook or do laundry.

I have had quite a few breakdowns over these four weeks and my husband has never once been frustrated or impatient with the soap box I've been getting on. My husband has changed quite a bit simply by living in Alaska. This is his heaven and his service is changing him even more. Not just his service to me, but his service in the Young Men's. I love who my husband has become since we have been here. Alaska has offered so much good to us in the short six months that we have been here.

I have wanted a closer relationship with God for quite some time now. I've expressed it in my measly prayers and silently in my heart. I never quite imagined he would bring me closer to Him through the confinement of being in bed. I truly feel like I don't deserve all this love and attention from so many wonderful people.

I have so many amazing friends and family who are struggling at this time and I would give anything in the world to be able to serve them the way that I am being served. "Whatsoever you have done to the least of these, you have done to me". When the day comes for me to stand before God and have my life reviewed I am sure He will weep when he see's how much my family has been taken care of during this time. I don't know that I'll ever be able to repay all of you in this life time. I just hope that when God expresses his gratitude to you one day, I will be standing next to him and you will see how genuinely grateful I am for you as well.