My Incredible Discovery

I love my husband, I really do. But I made an Incredible Discovery about him today. Wow, I feel lighter than air and I hope this realization will stay with me for the remainder of our long, endurable marriage.

You know what this inspirational new insight is? Come on, guess. Excuse my language, but I'm just going to say it:

He's NOT an asshole.

Wow, so cool huh.

He's an Engineer.

You may be in awe as I am and asking yourself, "Is she sure?"


Ever since Bill and I have dated, I have always had friends and family ask if Bill does not like them. Bill is not the most social giant out there. He is not a conversation starter and when someone tries to start a conversation with him, he keeps it pretty short and to the point.

Well, to be honest, I've always had a hard time with this. I for one love conversation and meeting new people and because Bill is not this way, I've always worried my friends and family thought of him as a jerk, well because I have thought of him as a jerk.

So, I happened upon a conversation this morning with another Engineer and he described himself as if He were Bill. I was SHOCKED. HE WAS BILL TO A T! Holy smokes, the light went on in my head and I felt relieved. For the first time in my marriage, I realized that Bill is the way He is because he's A FREAKIN ENGINEER!!!!!

So, I found this little personality definition of an Engineer. Read on my friends, read on.

SOCIAL SKILLS

Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social interaction.

"Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from
social interaction:

*Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation
*Important social contacts
*A feeling of connectedness with other humans

In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for
social interactions:

*Get it over with as soon as possible.
*Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant.
*Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects.

FASHION AND APPEARANCE

Clothes are the lowest priority for an engineer, assuming the basic thresholds for temperature and decency have been satisfied. If no appendages are freezing or sticking together, and if no genitalia or mammary glands are swinging around in plain view, then the objective of clothing has been met. Anything else is a waste.

DATING AND SOCIAL LIFE

Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will employ various indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above function.

Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are widely recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable, employed, honest, and handy around the house. While it's true that many normal people would prefer not to date an engineer, most normal people harbor an intense desire to mate with them, thus producing engineer-like
children who will have high-paying jobs long before losing their virginity.

Male engineers reach their peak of sexual attractiveness later than normal men, becoming irresistible erotic dynamos in their mid thirties to late forties. Just look at these examples of sexually irresistible men in technical professions:

* Bill Gates.
* MacGyver.
* Etcetera.

Female engineers become irresistible at the age of consent and remain that way until about thirty minutes after their clinical death. Longer if it's a warm day.

HONESTY

Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep engineers away from customers, romantic interests, and other people who can't handle the truth.

POWERS OF CONCENTRATION

If there is one trait that best defines an engineer it is the ability to concentrate on one subject to the complete exclusion of everything else in the environment. This sometimes causes engineers to be pronounced dead prematurely.

Now. The reason I decided to write about this was for three reasons.

1- May my friends and family get a better understanding of my husband.
2- May any of you who are married to Engineers be strengthened by the Lord each day.
3- So that I may always remember that my husband is "not a jerk", he's "just an engineer".

I believe when they came up with line "Will you take this man for better or for WORSE", the creator's were referring to the commitment of marrying an Engineer.

God have mercy on the soul of an engineer's wife.