My Incredible Discovery

I love my husband, I really do. But I made an Incredible Discovery about him today. Wow, I feel lighter than air and I hope this realization will stay with me for the remainder of our long, endurable marriage.

You know what this inspirational new insight is? Come on, guess. Excuse my language, but I'm just going to say it:

He's NOT an asshole.

Wow, so cool huh.

He's an Engineer.

You may be in awe as I am and asking yourself, "Is she sure?"


Ever since Bill and I have dated, I have always had friends and family ask if Bill does not like them. Bill is not the most social giant out there. He is not a conversation starter and when someone tries to start a conversation with him, he keeps it pretty short and to the point.

Well, to be honest, I've always had a hard time with this. I for one love conversation and meeting new people and because Bill is not this way, I've always worried my friends and family thought of him as a jerk, well because I have thought of him as a jerk.

So, I happened upon a conversation this morning with another Engineer and he described himself as if He were Bill. I was SHOCKED. HE WAS BILL TO A T! Holy smokes, the light went on in my head and I felt relieved. For the first time in my marriage, I realized that Bill is the way He is because he's A FREAKIN ENGINEER!!!!!

So, I found this little personality definition of an Engineer. Read on my friends, read on.

SOCIAL SKILLS

Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social interaction.

"Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from
social interaction:

*Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation
*Important social contacts
*A feeling of connectedness with other humans

In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for
social interactions:

*Get it over with as soon as possible.
*Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant.
*Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects.

FASHION AND APPEARANCE

Clothes are the lowest priority for an engineer, assuming the basic thresholds for temperature and decency have been satisfied. If no appendages are freezing or sticking together, and if no genitalia or mammary glands are swinging around in plain view, then the objective of clothing has been met. Anything else is a waste.

DATING AND SOCIAL LIFE

Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will employ various indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above function.

Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are widely recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable, employed, honest, and handy around the house. While it's true that many normal people would prefer not to date an engineer, most normal people harbor an intense desire to mate with them, thus producing engineer-like
children who will have high-paying jobs long before losing their virginity.

Male engineers reach their peak of sexual attractiveness later than normal men, becoming irresistible erotic dynamos in their mid thirties to late forties. Just look at these examples of sexually irresistible men in technical professions:

* Bill Gates.
* MacGyver.
* Etcetera.

Female engineers become irresistible at the age of consent and remain that way until about thirty minutes after their clinical death. Longer if it's a warm day.

HONESTY

Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep engineers away from customers, romantic interests, and other people who can't handle the truth.

POWERS OF CONCENTRATION

If there is one trait that best defines an engineer it is the ability to concentrate on one subject to the complete exclusion of everything else in the environment. This sometimes causes engineers to be pronounced dead prematurely.

Now. The reason I decided to write about this was for three reasons.

1- May my friends and family get a better understanding of my husband.
2- May any of you who are married to Engineers be strengthened by the Lord each day.
3- So that I may always remember that my husband is "not a jerk", he's "just an engineer".

I believe when they came up with line "Will you take this man for better or for WORSE", the creator's were referring to the commitment of marrying an Engineer.

God have mercy on the soul of an engineer's wife.

Helga and Thor

Ya, He still calls them those names. I can handle Thor, I even call him Thor. I just can't call her that horrible name.

Anyway. She's just a few weeks over two years and He's just nine months. They are only 16 months apart and some days I want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon.





Paisley is hilarious. Maybe every parent laughs at everything their child does, but she just cracks us up. She is all over the place, she wants to climb everything and when I say climb, I mean CLIMB. I really think she's got so many of Her Daddy's characteristics, not to mention she looks exactly like him!

Thor wants to be just like her, yet he can't stand it when she takes away the attention he gets from others. He is so cuddly! Guarantee, if you want to get Paisley to do something, you have Thor do it first. You want a hug from her? Start loving on Him. You want her to potty in the toilet? You stick him on the toilet. She wants to be like him and he wants to be like her. They scream at each other, they fight, they kiss, she sits on him and pushes him over, he pulls her hair.

As crazy as my days seem to be, I doubt I'll ever poke my eyes out. I really am going to love watching them grow up together.

Cheers to the good old years....

Cheesecake Factory and a little visit to Doctor John's was the perfect activity for a night out with these long time friends.

I'd love to blog about the conversation that existed this evening, but I just don't dare. Between the red wine these ladies had and my water, we were drunk on laughter. I really wish Chan would've pee'd her pants. Maybe next time.

What I love about these girls.

Hez: Always so fashionable and looking like she's ready to walk down a run way. She says the funniest things sometimes, things you would expect to come out of the mouth of a blonde. That's what makes it so funny. Most people expect her to speak Spanish, but she doesn't know a lick of it. Heather is a Cougar, so if you ever want to meet one, let me know.

Chan: HYSTERICAL. If one word could describe her, it would be that. You can bet that anytime you are around Chan you will laugh your pants off, especially when she tells Rena stories and tells them with her eyes crossed. Chan takes no crap from anyone, she is strong and determined and all the while will make you fall on the floor laughing.

Jesse: Gorgeous and has the sweetest personality to match! Jesse is single, so if any of you know of anyone, lets hook her up!!! She has the most contagious laugh and I am sad it took us so long to reconnect!

I really do have the most unique friends, I feel very fortunate to have so many wonderful friends in my life.

Let The Goodbye's Begin....

This is the worst part of moving, saying goodbye.
Our nights are filling quickly with the many loved ones we have to see before we take off.

Last night I had a night out with a few of the greatest gals from my ward. I really, REALLY love these girls and I will miss them like crazy. When we go out we have nights filled with great conversation and laughter.

There are so many wonderful qualities about each of them, but I am just going to pick one or two that stands out the most to me.

Mindy Lou Who- I love her witty sense of humor and her obsession with food.
Joni Boloni- I love her strong testimony yet I love that she thinks outside the box. Oh and I love her laugh and her beauty mark.
Cyndoll- I love that she NEVER speaks bad about anyone and I love her tight 80's fitting jeans that she wears in public.
Dlish- I love her beauty, inside and out. She is the "True Beauty". Oh and I love her belly dancing dvd and her love of skulls.

The list could go on and on about these girls. They really did save my life this past year, living in Salt Lake. There are friends you have from childhood that you hold close to your heart, and then there are friends that you meet along the way that make your heart expand even more.

These girls have expanded my heart and even helped strengthen my testimony. They are so accepting of everyone and they will never know how much they have blessed my life. Our last Girls Night Out Together was spent at The Porcupine Grill and then Quick Wits. What I will remember about this night is this:

1. Nacho's that were bigger than Mindy's head.
2. Dona's most exciting news.
3. The most disgusting Caesar Salad I have EVER tried.
4. The beautiful photograph from Cynthia.
5. Joanette's laughter that made me almost pee my pants.
6. Sexy Wrangler Butts from The Mama's Boys.
7. Umm quirky looking dude that seemed to crush on Cynthia.
8. Drew and his hot side burns and mustache
9. Laughter, Laughter and more Laughter.
10. The cowboy fiddler and his moves that were oh so wrong, yet oh so right.

Cheers to the BEST GIRLS NIGHT OUT EVER!!!!

Alaska Here We Come....

We've always dreamed of ending up in Alaska. We just never believed it would happen in the 3rd year of our marriage. Here's a brief update on how things have just "fallen in to place".

Glacier Bay, Ak. 2002. I lived and worked here for five months and fell in love at first sight. I always knew I would come back, just didn't know when.

Seward, Ak 2008. Honeymoon. I would say "enough said", but well, since we took our honeymoon six months after we were married, we didn't spend the whole time in the cabin. Our honeymoon quarters were not your typical bride and groom quarters. We had a space heater, bunk beds and a bucket too pee in. We spent as much time as we possibly could enjoy every aspect that Alaska has to offer. Bill fell in love with Alaska and I fell in love all over again with this beautiful piece of God's land.

So, on the train ride when we met her, it wasn't any surprise that they exchanged numbers. Her husband owned an engineering firm and Bill just happened to be looking for a job. He was already interviewing and interested in a position that would move us to Colorado, so her husband told Bill to keep his number in case he was ever interested down the road. Bill went ahead and accepted the Colorado position.

As many know, Bill has been on the road for the past 2 1/2 hears. I've essentially been a single Mom this whole time. Its been exhausting, its been challenging and its been nothing I ever expected I'd have to go through in the beginning years of my marriage.

I know its been hard on Bill, but he just hasn't expressed it as much.

A few months ago Bill finally got to a point where he felt he could be "open" to other opportunities. One Saturday he had to take an emergency trip to Wyoming and so the kids and I went along for the drive. We discussed different options and I asked Bill if He had this individual's information in Alaska. He said he has tried finding the contact info for him, but had lost it. Subject was dropped.

On Monday, Alaska had sent Bill an email, basically offering him a job. Ever since, everything has fallen in to place for us to take the offer. Let me repeat that, EVERYTHING has fallen in to place for us to take the offer.

So, here we are, just weeks away from starting this sudden dream. Nothing has been packed, because I'm scared and I'm sad. This goodbye is going to be the hardest goodbye I've had to have. I don't want to leave my friends and I certainly don't want to leave my family.

But, Alaska is going to give Me a husband and Alaska is going to give my babies a Father. If that's all Alaska gives me, it will be worth it.

I hope being a bit more faithful on this blog will help my family and friends experience the adventure with us.