Due to the heaviness of my last blog, I feel the need to lighten things up a bit.
I confess, I am somewhat embarrassed of the attention I received from my last post.
I love you all so much and I am so grateful for the love & concern you each had for me as I was feeling the blues.
I am happy to say, I am now "off it" & back to my happy self.
Jamie mentioned in her 25 random facts that I was once in love with a gay guy. I'd like to defend this fact and in so doing will bring up some great memories of my wonderful friends from Cornish.
This picture is the very extravagant Cornish Post Office. (No, it's not a double wide out house with a mailbox). This place served a town of roughly 250 people. There are no stoplights, no stores and certainly no single men.
So, when a new boy moves into town and he's reasonably cute, all girls go crazy. Well, at least I did.
We were in middle school when, let's call him "Screech", moved in. I believe the first time I noticed him, really noticed him was when all the Young Women were at Volleyball practice. My heart raced and I got all nervous as he walked into the gym. "Here's my future husband", I thought to myself.
Now all of you girls from Cornish know that God blessed me with a very VERY tiny bladder. In spite of this birth defect, I wanted to show off my volleyball skills to this fine looking man. Well I really did not get a chance because of Amy.
The ball was served and Amy hit it so hard, I thought it was going to go through the ceiling. I fell to my knees in hysteria. I was laughing so hard, I had to plug my ears. Staci K.'s laughter was making me laugh harder and harder and harder.
Oh and Staci, you know what dropping too the knees and plugging my ears meant. I WAS ABOUT TO PEE MY PANTS.
So of course, you run over to me and crouch down and laugh right in my face. You and Jamie wanted me to pee my pants in front of "Screech" and well, let's just say: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I run out the door with a trail of urine behind me, thinking: "Now "Screech" will never want to marry me". HELLO, I WAS WHAT, 15 YEARS OLD?
Oh, I was so embarrassed, but so in love with this brown haired, brown eyed beauty that just moved in to Cornish and upped the population to 254.
I will admit, I continued to think Mr. Screech was just the cutest thing all through out high school. Did I know He was gay? Many wondered, but I had the faith that he was meant for me. He would serve a mission and then come home and marry me. This secret of my heart was never shared and sadly this love NEVER BLOSSOMED.
For "Screech" truly was gay. Did I turn him gay because I was a female that peed in front of him? Possibly. But my itsy bitsy bladder could not refrain from release and well, that's the way the cookie crumbled.
Bill, if you read this you now understand why I hate it when you tickle me. Thus far you've produced a dribble, let's not turn it into the great flood. The last thing I want to do is turn you gay too.
16 comments:
my wife kicks ass
I love your wife...so would Screech's initials be RT?? If so I had no idea you had a crush on him..too damn funny!
Funny! The cloth diapers are going well. I bought mine from clothdiaperworld.com out of Murry. There's pros and cons so call me if your interested and we can chat. Shanoa
That's too funny you crack me up girl and just so ya know, i too have been blessed with a very tiny bladder.
Pretty funny story, I love the scene setting with your lovely post office. I have never seen it in all my days in Cache Valley.
So tiny bladder . . . remind me why we were sucking down come back cups full of water on our way tracting in the middle of no where?? And, really . .. it was a mighty silly plan with a small bladder!! Good thing it only led to peeing in the bushes once for you and behind an old out house once for me! Thank heavens for the rurality of Howell!! Ha!! Ha!!!
Which I have to say . . . to bad that pick of you with wet pants in Hell, MI was caused by a water fight on PDay and not a FLOOD!!
Your Halarious!
That's HILARIOUSLY uncomfortable!!
I have to tell you, your post office SCREAMS Napoleon Dynamite! :)
This is seriously one of the funniest stories I've ever read!! I can totally picture you, I understand...I have the same tiny bladder LOL.
Super cute little fam.
I loved this story! And just to second your Hubby's thoughts, you do kick Ass!
P.S. I left a comment on your previous post!
Oh the good ol' post office. Did I know this guys, I don't remember any guys being gay from Cornish???
I actually remember this CRUSH of yours. EEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
okay so I totally laughed my ass off!!!!! it's 1:20 am just got home from work and oh my goodness! I get one paragraph into this story and I'm busting a gut! You're probably the funniest person I know :) I should take this time to apologize for "making" you pee your pants. Just think of it this way I saved you years of living a lie. He would have come out eventually and he would have left you for another man! Admit it, you're so much happier now! Your first clue that he wasn't "normal" should have been that his best girl friend was well my neighbor to the east. He was just plain weird! Changing the subject I agree with the post office being totally Napoleon Dynamite. too funny!
Ginger you never fail to entertain. I never know what to expect when I look at your blog. Listening to you tell that story made me think back at all the fun times we had. So can you divulge screech's identity?
Who the heck is Screech? Did I grow up in Cornish? Man my memory is pathetic...please shed some light. Seriously, you slay me! Staci - I am not your friend to the East am I, well I know I am but who where you referring to?
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