Easter & Grandma Ella

Its Easter. Didn't really hit me until the closing song in Relief Society.

Oh how I miss Her. She passed away last month, Grandma McKnight

did. Then I realized during the closing song that She is one step closer to

being resurrected. Just like Him. The song was "Scatter Sunshine". I've

always kind of thought it was a silly song, but Grandma sang it with such

vigor. I loved hearing Grandma sing, she had such a beautiful voice.

The funeral was March 29th, she died the morning of the 25th.

Made it home just in time to speak with her and visit with her, before she would be in and out of consciousness for several days. It was humbling and touching to spend so much time with her in her final hours. The funeral was beautiful. Here is my Dad and my Uncles and Aunt, they all spoke so well. Grandma mentioned how happy she was to be able to see every single one of her grandchildren before she would die, everyone except my husband.

The day of Grandma's funeral, Paisley started to get sick. For the next four days, she carried a temp of 104, had vomit and diarrhea and wouldn't eat. The doctors kept telling us she just had a nasty virus that would take its course, but finally, the third doctor requested blood work and a chest xray and discovered that she had not only pneumonia in both lungs, but RSV and the Metanumovirus (something similar to RSV). So, the doc admitted her to the hospital and we spent three days there. It was horrible seeing her prodded and poked and in so much pain. She was one sick little girl and I am so thankful for Dr. Odell and not just sending us on

our way home. Paisley started to improve on the third day, but I believe

the best medicine of all was Daddy's surprise visit. The look on Paisley's

face when He walked in to that room will forever be sketched in my mind.

It was as if she had seen a ghost and didn't know if she could believe He was really there. Is it any wonder Daddy gets there Monday Morning and she is released Monday Night?

The Doctor told us that we should plan on being in Utah for awhile because she wouldn't be able to fly home until she was practically 100% better. Between Bill needing to get back to work and the expense in changing our plane tickets, we really needed to get back that Thursday, our original flight home.

My Mom mention someone going to the Temple for Paisley so Bill

called his Mother to see if she would go. She went on Wednesday

and we took Paisley in Thursday morning praying the doc would

give Us the okay to fly home. He said she was a miracle. She was

well enough to make the flight home.

Before we left, we did get to see a few cousins. This is Carson (left) with McKoy. He is my twin sister's baby who is only 2 months younger than

my son. What a chunk! He weighs 27lbs here! Crazy. They were sure

fun to see next to each other. I think he's got the physique of Popeye,

so buff in the legs and arms and that little potbelly!

Here is Layna and Paisley playing together at Layna's house. Paisley sure loves her cousin and always looks forward to spending time with her.

This 2 1/2 week vacation certainly didn't turn out how I had hoped it would. Don't get me wrong, I was so grateful to be able to speak with Grandma before she was unresponsive, but I was really hoping to be able to spend some good time with my Family and Friends.

Instead, my Mother had Me and her two grandkids to take care of. I love my Mother and all that she does for Us. I was hoping to "go home" and veg like I normally did before I was married. Having your Mother pamper you, cook for you, clean up after you while you are lazy was something I longed for every time I went home. I was hoping for a little Veg time and maybe "leave the kids with grandma time while I go play with friends".... but I got none of that. Lol. I got a huge wake up call. I'm a Mother now, not a socialite. My number one responsibility is my kids. Really, I wouldn't have it any other way. It sure would've been nice to have seen my friends whom I miss so much, but I'm a Mom now. In fact, I hated that My Mom was always cleaning up after me and my kids, I hated being lazy and taken care of. I just ached to get home and be a Mom. Be Her. The older I get, the more and more I become like her and that really is a good thing. She's an incredible Mother.

I am not homesick after all. For the first few months I thought I was, but after going home I soon realized "home"' will always be "home", but I have my own home to build now. I am so excited to build my family and my life in Alaska. I'm getting more and more excited to be content with just being a "Mom" for now. The more content I am with that, the more happy I am with being with my kids. I don't feel too concerned to have to make all the friends in the world or go to all the social activities, like I did when I first moved here. I had my time being social, I had my time "getting out" when I was single. I don't have to make any money. All I have to be is a good Mom and it feels so nice to finally be able to feel content with that idea.