Welcome to our World baby McKoy

William McKoy Price: Born March 13, 2010 at 6:22am. He weighed 8 lb 3 oz. and really wanted to get here.

Here is his story.

At 34 weeks I was put on "house arrest" by Karen, my midwife. I was having contractions every 3-7 minutes, dilated to a 3 and 70% effaced. Things were quite stressful. Bill was traveling a lot for work and I was terrified he was going to miss the birth. What was I going to do if the middle of the night came and I went in to labor? What was I going to do with Paisley?

I had so much help from my Ward, it was amazing. The Relief Society President, Julie, just happens to be my visiting teacher. She was on top of things so quickly. I had several new friends from the ward volunteering their time and energy to help me, no matter the day or time! One dear friend even printed up a 6 week schedule for me so that I knew where she would be if I couldn't get a hold of her!

Anyhow, I had decided I wanted to go natural with this pregnancy early into the 2nd trimester. I had heard of Hypnobirthing from a few people and looked in to it. Bill and I took a four week class on this style of birthing and I knew its what I wanted to do.

To make a long story short. I had spent weeks and weeks practicing my hypno therapy at home, but I just couldn't relax myself enough to get in to it. I would get all ansy and itchy the minute I would lay down to concentrate. Though it was difficult, I still tried to do it at least once a day. I was just so stressed with Bill being gone, that I was losing sleep and gaining anxiety.

After weeks of stress, contractions, and no sleep, Karen decided she would strip my membranes for me. Again, I had heard that this did not work for most people. Never the less, Karen told me to pack my bags and on Mar 12th, she would strip my membranes at the end of the day.

(Key note: another added stress was the hour drive to Ogden Regional Hospital to deliver the baby. I loved my midwife so much, I had decided in the beginning to go with her. I didn't realize the stress this hour would cause me.)

So, we packed our bags. Bill was home, Paisley was with us and we were quite hopeful. My 4:30 appt came, she stripped me twice in 10 minutes and told us to go watch a movie and give her a call. We went and spent time with Courtney and Layna, grabbed some dinner and then walked around the mall.

I called Karen at 9:00, my contractions were coming every 6 minutes. She told me just to go home, normally if it was anyone else, she would send to the hospital, but with me I had been contracting so long she didn't seem too alarmed by it.

So, we go home. I hit my pillow around 10:30 and at 3:30 woke up to some pretty painful contractions. They were coming every 4-6 minutes at this point and so I waited a whole hour just to make sure they were consistent. Boy, were they consistant!

So, we hop back in the car with Paisley grinning from ear to ear at four in the morning. She was stoked for some reason! At this point, the contractions started to get very painful, I couldn't even talk through them. Bill would get up to 90 mph and I would tell him to slow down, then a contraction would come and I'd tell him to push on the pedal!

We get to the hospital at 5:15, Bill is waiting for Tom to come and pick up Paisley and I head up to labor and delivery. I get to the front desk and they tell me they have paperwork for me to fill out. I tell them I can't wait I need a room. They rush me back and I demand an epidural. Nurse checks me. Tells me its too late, I'm already dilated to a 10. I tell the nurse I am ready to push and she tells me I can't, I have to wait for Karen.

Bill plugs the headphones into my ears, loads my hypno therapy stuff and BAM I instantly relax. Karen gets there and I am still relaxed. No screaming, No loud noises, nothing but heavy breathing.

Now comes the time its okay to push. The back pain was so unbearable that it was really awkward for me to push. Normally you are suppose to bear down, but with each contraction I wanted to push up. I could tell Karen was concerned and something told me I need to do exactly as she says or else I would end up getting a c-section.

So against everything my body tells me to do, I do the opposite. I push like I gotta poop and sure enough it worked. One hour after I reached the front desk, our little boy was born. And it felt INCREDIBLE!!

Come to find out, the reason the pain was so harsh in my back, was because he was born posterior. But I did it. All, naturale. Any other births will be done the same way. I was up and moving around and feeling so great within the hour.

McKoy is such a good baby. He latched right on and nurses pretty well. He is sleeping great and I only have to get up once during the night to feed him. He truly is another perfect little baby. He is now 9 days old and we just love him. Paisley adores him. She wants to hug him every chance she gets. She gets all giddy when I change his diaper or nurse him.

I feel very lucky, I am now a Mother of two beautiful children. And a big THANK YOU to my wonderful husband. You had so much faith in me and knew I could do this natural. Thank you for loving me and believing in me and pushing me to do this. You make me so happy, so so so very happy!

Going from THIS to THAT to HER to HIM

So you wait 29 years, 5 months and 1 day to get married. Add an additional 40 weeks on top of that and you finally get HER, your first little baby. It really is everything you imagined it would be. Both, marriage and having a baby. It was something you felt like you had to go through Hell to find, but you know it was well worth the wait and ride through Satan's territory to get there.

So. Now, you are married 2 years, 2 months and 30 days. You have a 15 month old child and you are 37 weeks pregnant with your second, a baby boy. But Who am I besides this person who has been an incubator for two little children.

Yes. I'm a Mother. But, is that it?

I go from THIS to THAT to HER to HIM

Where are the days I felt like GINGER and not just MOTHER and WIFE. Don't get me wrong, being a Mother and a Wife is huge, but where did my identity go?

Going from Single-hood to Motherhood was NOT as easy a transition as I had always believed it would be. I've felt lost these past two years trying to figure out my new role as His wife and Their Mother. I am now on a mission to be Ginger again.

I am done trying to "play a role". I am back to just "being Ginger".

Somewhere in this midst of this thing called Motherhood, its hard to find the time to get dolled up and feel like a princess, like on your wedding day. So, my first step?

Took a day to get pampered. Pedicure? Check. Hair colored and cut? Check. Girls night out? Check.

Now comes the next step. DO NOT CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU.

This will have to be done a day at a time. I can do it. When I was single I really had such great confidence and its slipped tremendously since I've been married. But its time to get that confidence back and not worry.

The only approval I need is from God. As long as I am right in his eyes, nobody else's eyes matter.

So here's to the journey of getting my "spice back".

I've missed you.

Pregnancy Blues

Thirty five weeks pregnant. No sleep. Exhaustion. Sore. Fat. Anxious. Lonely.

He works all the time, he travels all the time. I feel like a single Mom. I lay awake next to him at nights, resenting his job for not allowing us to have a normal life. This isn't how it should be. But what is a normal life?

Gone are the Brady Bunch days. Gone are the nights we go to bed together, have breakfast together, have dinner together. Gone are the weekends of family time.

We live in a world of busy, busy, busy. Work, work, work. Live to pay the bills and get out of debt.

He provides for the family.

She raises the kids and keeps the house tidy.

In the midst of what he does and what she does, somehow you make time for each other. But 5 min here and 5 min there just doesn't seem to cut it.

I want the Brady Bunch life. I want more family time. But who really gets that anymore? I'm scared. I'm terrified of bringing another of God's spirit's in to this world. This busy, crazy, scary, exciting world. This world whose view on the importance of family has greatly diminished.

With the hardships of the economy comes even more demands from Fathers. More demand of their time away from home. More demand of their sleep time and more demand of their energy.

I've got the Pregnancy Blues. I don't see an end in sight for this single mother feeling to go away. He will keep on traveling and he will keep on working and I will keep on feeling like a single mother. If the Pioneer Women did it, I suppose I can too. But for now I just want to sulk and have a pity party with Me and my enormous tummy.

I Love You Everyday, Not Just Valentine's Day

Didn't get anything sexy. Didn't get anything romantic. A simple kiss and the words "I love you" completely sufficed.

Do we have the perfect marriage? No, but you are here. You love me. You love your daughter and you provide.

Your absence is not easy. But if things were so easy then I wouldn't appreciate you the way I do. I wouldn't miss you the way I do and I wouldn't be grateful.

You have given me everything I have ever wanted in the past two years. Everything. I know at times I forget and lose sight of the vision we had set when we got married, but you always bring me back to reality. You help me realize that its okay that life isn't perfect, that We aren't perfect, and that our marriage isn't perfect. You level me and I know I level you. You are my equal. You are mine forever. I am so grateful you chose me.

You sacrifice for me far more than I sacrifice for you and I acknowledge you for that. You put my needs above your own and I need to see our future through your eyes, not just mine. You are a wonderful Husband and even more so, a wonderful Father. I love the way her face lights up when she see's you at the end of the day. That big smile, the twinkling eyes and the jibberish she uses to say "Finally, you're home".

You are so deeply loved. So deeply, incredibly, amazingly loved.

Back to Blogging Therapy

Its been 9 months since my last post. I had all the reasons in the world to quit blogging. Waste of time. Unsafe. Blah. Blah. Blah. When it comes down to it, I miss it tremendously. I miss following my friends and families lives. I miss writing down milestones of my daughter. I miss writing down memories of my amazing life. I am so looking forward to being in tune with your lives again.

So here I go with my journal writing and boy do I have much to catch up on!